Often, people who experience chronic pain focus on the pain, the inability to do the things they once did or the things they wish they could do. Most of one’s energy is usually focused on surviving each day and just getting through.
Recovery seems somewhat contradictory.
To some, recovery is about eliminating the pain. For others, it is about managing the pain. But what is recovery?
I would like to share my story and how one day my life changed. I was always that active child who never stopped. She wanted to jump and climb everything and anything, and there were no limits. My motto was “There is nothing impossible!” “I can do anything” and “No one can stop me”. I lived my life to the fullest and enjoyed every moment. I was a professional competitive dancer and a gymnast, which was my passion. I danced and performed, and that was my life. When I turned 15 years old, I immigrated to Canada because my parents relocated, and I was faced with many challenges, including learning a new language, finding new friends, starting a new school, and searching for a new job. This was a major curveball in my life, but I believed there was nothing impossible and decided to put all my energy into helping others who face life challenges. I became a mental health counsellor and devoted myself to my clients until life threw me another curveball… My accident… it was sudden, unexpected and life-changing.
Fifteen years ago, I had an accident that resulted in a mild traumatic brain injury (TBI) and constant neck pain. My neck pain later travelled to my arms, back, and I had constant, unbearable headaches that were so debilitating and prevented me from doing the things I loved doing. I stopped exercising, dancing, jogging, jumping, and all the things I loved doing. I just could not accept that I could no longer be that person, the one who can do anything… I searched and tried every therapy out there for seven years, but nothing helped. The pain was still there, and I wanted it gone.
One day, I will never forget, I woke up and said to myself, “This will not be my life!” “I will not let this pain control me and my life anymore!” “I will be a survivor!”
I decided to accept that my life might be different, but I will not surrender. I started exercising again, and the pain increased. Most days, I would have to go to sleep right after my workouts, but my physical therapist told me to keep going and trust that it would get better. I know that the hope my rehabilitator instilled in me is what kept me going, and after four months of intense pain, I saw the light! I started to notice slight changes and moments of decreased pain, the headaches became less frequent, and I finally believed that I was conquering pain. This gave me the strength to keep going, and I believe it was the beginning of my recovery journey.
Recovery is a journey, and every person’s journey is unique.
Hope is what kept me going, faith is what gave me strength, but accepting that life is full of curveballs and how we manage those curveballs is up to us, was crucial. I believe there is always a light at the end of the tunnel… Keep searching for the light, and you will find it!